Attitudes Sour as the PFOL Nears the Mid-Season Mark

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
February 20, 2010

By Dave Neff

INDIANAPOLIS – What initially started out as an exciting league full of promise has taken a sudden turn for the worse in recent weeks. The Pacers Front Office League, affectionately known as the Pacers F-Off League, has been fraught with negative attitudes and cries of competitive injustice. Even the mild-mannered Commissioner, Mr. Ned “Alan” Mowrey, turned the dial up this past week trading verbal jabs with Jake “the Snake” Vernon. In a twist of irony, Vernon re-iterated to Mowrey mid-game that, “we are not going to let this get out of control. This is not Xavier intramurals.”

Veteran Greg Smith of Team 4 voiced his displeasure in a profanity-laced tirade as the clock wound down in his team’s week four win over Team 2. “I’m BLEEPIN sick and tired of this BLEEP. Not even fun anymore. This BLEEP has gotta stop.”

While Commissioner Mowrey searches for solutions, one thing is clear: changes are imminent. A source close to the Commissioner said he is known to email the captains with proposed rule changes after each week of games. This is leaving some to question whether Mowrey is fit for the role of Commissioner. Reigning Defensive Player of the Week Troy Brokl had this to say about Mowrey’s performance four weeks into the season: “I’m not really sure what Mowrey is thinking about the direction of this league. Did you know I just went to the nurses and they said I don’t have to come back for six months? I used to be every three months. I wonder how often Mowrey visits the nurses. If it’s more than me, I should be commissioner. Whitewater rules.”

While this sound byte has left many confused, it is being reported that Brokl still may be suffering from the lingering effects of a week three illness that kept him sidelined for a game.

Leading frontrunner for League MVP, Edmound Elzy (Victorville, Calif./Oakwood Christian HS) believes the first issue that needs to be resolved is the abundance of fouls being committed. “Look, I know I have a target on my back. I’m the best player out here. My game is basically at a 4.7 wind-aided 40. Back in my days in Portales, NM my game was at a 4.3 strong headwind. I could be killin these cats, but I’m getting fouled every trip down the court. WORD AAPP.”

One thing is for certain: The PFOL is a league full of colorful personalities. While talks continue to swirl surrounding the possibility of shortening the regular season in favor of playoff series, an immediate change in outlook and perspective is needed. Or the PFOL could be folding up shop.

Stay tuned for updates as this is a developing story.

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